Went to malaysia today... The whole crew came to celebrate my ah ma and ah gong's golden wedding anniversary.. Had a hell of a good time with them.. Played basketball with them and sparined my middle finger... Damn it now i cannot point it...! After that went for the dinner... Not too bad.. But as usual i did not touch the seafood dishes except the fish.

Headed back home while the rest went out i guess... ANyway with regards to my sup supervisor course, its been slack.. No stay in yet, just lectures after lectures. Anyway my stay in will start from 5th jan onwards... So, its gonna be a freaking 4 months of booking out on fri night and booking in on sun night.

And christmas this yr was fucking boring..! Maybe i dun like to chiong, thus losing out lots of things. I need a change of life man... my current life now is fuking boring like practically lazing around...And gg out seems boring to me too.. SO i dunno what i want...

Gonna go slp now, though u guys should know i will not be zzzing yet, but thats the only way to end my posting though.. Ciao. Oh ya another thing i learnt from my OC, which is a sophisticated term for chao geng is called critical thinking..

Beggining a new lease of NS life in sembawang camp... Wish me luck.. And good luck to those in their new vocation...

I gave up to up pes... Cox i know its impossible and i know that somewhere in my heart iam scared of the training... Damn it.. I feel so damn useless and ashamed of myself...


Sometimes i wish there will be someone,
to listen to what i have to say.
To know how i feel,
to share with her how i feel...

I wanna know how it feels like being loved
how it feels to love...
How it feels to cuddle the person you love...
But i still haven't met the person yet...

Just watched a korean drama called "new heart". Its about the life of doctors in a famous hospital. Some harbour only simple thoughts of saving lives while some others are out for the money. It shows the ugly side of some doctors and how they prioritize the patients judging by social status, their income and the survival rate. Its a good drama to watch though.

I believe pple engage in something with a simple thought at first. Its either to fulfill their passion or simply to do what they like. But along the way, we lose our sense of direction and often got lost. We follow what we think is right, which also meant following the crowd. Cause its always the "social norm" that causes us to lose our initial beliefs. And at the end of the day, we find ourselves stuck in this furball of mess as we continue to plunge into the hole of wrong beliefs.

This also applies in life i guess. We always lose our sense of direction. There are things and pple to guide us but in the end, its up to us whether to follow or not. And lastly, to make sure we do not regret what we initially thought was right.

Thanks for making my day everytime when i chat with u... hehe. i know ur reading this though... =)

I wonder if its me or the surroundings that iam feeling like iam constantly ignored... I dunno how to explain, probably its time for a change... So i shall just fuck it in the meanwhile.

This morning, completed a 5km jog (more or less 5 km)! Damn proud of myself... Muahhaa. Not much of an achievement la, but you guys should know that i hated jogging the most. Now, its like a very good exercise for me. To train my endurance level. Of course in between my jog, i stopped for one or two times. Hehe...

after that slacked at home and watched jia hao yue yuan. Finally completed this show.Then manveer text me and asked if i wanna go zouk or not. But in the end, i dun wanna go. COnfirm i will look like a sua ku in front of them one.. Somemore, my face look like guai kia, and i dun quite like this kindda environment la.. Rather slp at home...

In the end, went out with a long time friend. Had a good chat and we talked about everything under the sun... Then went home and played bball a while and finally got home...

That sums up my day la... Ciao...

***One week...***

I'm always very unhappy about why pple can accomplish some things and i can't. Like being in PES c. I thought i should feel alright. But the mental torture you get, like how useless we are, how less training we get, some of our commanders also felt so and i din even have the chance to participate in route march even though i know i can. And the funny thing is you get charged if they know that your status does not permit you to do certain rigourous activities. Its like over rated. And yet if iam in pes b or bp, my ligament thingy which took me like years to recover may come back again. Dunno what to do la. My friends say, since we are given this status, just live on with it and give in your best shot prior to whatever vocation they give you which i agree...

I seriously hate the way pes c have their poc. It sucks! Compared to pop, everyone's enjoying every moment of it. People taking pics, the bonding and parents get to put on jockey cap for their son. Who the hell dun want that. But because we are in pes c, we did not go through the full regiment of NS and we did not suffer much, and ppl think we are not capable of anything thus the not-so-grand ceremony. I tried to up pes but failed. Funnny huh. I still have to prove that iam fit enough then can up pes.

And now they know i got hypertension which makes it impossible for me. WTF!!! Its not like iam crazy that i wanna go through all these shit but i need to prove myself i can do it. I wanna let my parents be proud of me. Although pes c did went through field camp etc but the training is still minimal. The only way i can comfort myself is that pray that i can get a goood posting, and continue to train myself everyday. people may think we are chao gengs, yes indeed some of us are. Those pple i call them useless. But pple like us who have real injuries like thorn ligament, there is no way we can hide our condition and we cannot recover from it. and certainly during halfway throughout training we may hurt the same spot again. Maybe they should change the structure of training of pes c. We are not totally useless, we can still go through at least 80% of the pes a/bs' training.

END OF RANTINGS!!!

Went out yesterday, watched bolt... Not bad, but was disappointed when the movie is not about a dog with superhuman skills though... Spotted a jeans at cottons on, wanted to buy it but think i should consult my mother... haha. Anyway did i tell u guys that i slimmed down... muhahaa. but i think i will gain weight again la.. Anyway, all my jeans looked baggy when i wear it.

Finally i will be meeting part of my section mates for dinner and movie.. Iam pretty nervous though because its like the first time we are meeting out of camp. Wonder how the turnout will be like though. Iam gonna go jogging now... hehe. You guys must be wondering if iam crazy or what huh. haha. ciao... And good luck to marcus kel and les for their 24km route march and enjoy your glorious POP yea..

***I hate to wait... Thats my character... But when we meet, i will always stupidly wait for her for an hour at least... And i feel angry but after a sec, the anger just dissipitated... if as friends, she's always letting me wait, does it show smth? Iam not angry, its just that i dunno what she is thinking... Doesn't it show that i dun mean much as a friend to her at all...?***

Po... PO.... CCC....

Just got back home... Finished my POC... Wahhaa... Now my block leave starts... Its wild last night, pple going around putting cogate on those who fell aslp.. And bunk wars etc.. Iam sure to miss my section... ciao.. Its such a nice weather to sleep in.. Ciao...

I'm Still finding...
Still searching...
Messing around with loose sand...