Today's the most dejected day man... And its all probably my fault.. Lazy to explain what happened. I wonder if it is my personality which got me so down... Being low confident, lazy, unwilling to do things, lack of initiative and no priority... My dad was spot on with most of these adjectives...

I know i lack initiative, but aim lazy in nature... I'm only interested in doing things if it entice me or with regards to studying... I thought i have put in effort already but at the end of the day, there will always be someone who is giving in more effort and smarter than me. I feel damn stupid at times, like a frog in a well, not knowing whats going on... Damn.. i really dunno what to do.. i need advice... and the little scolding from my dad really awaken me and starting from now, ive decided to do something bout my flaws. Change it for the sake of being a better person... I used to complain bout my dad if he is being unreasonable but after today, i think he is kindda right. Everything seems like a small thing or problem to me that i ignore it when it became a huge problem then i start to panic... how true..

Anyway this post is a reminder for myself... I gotta change somehow... I wanna be a sucessful person in life, not a follow and not a failure..

Its been long since i last updated though. Been very busy, learning many things and staying in camp and doing all the stupid stuff... My course mates are damn good and we are united. Very much i would like it to stay like this for 2 yrs but it dawn to me that the course will be ending in like 3 weeks time. I will miss the fun and the people...

How long has it since you have felt that you have nothing to look forward to in the weekend? At the end of the day the victim of love is always the one who gives more...