Just came back from dinner with family at lavender food centre. had their famous kok kee wanton mee and ate the fish head steamboat which is awesome and filling.
Afternoon, went to play arcade at star factory with jia fu, playing tekken 6 and challenging other people which was fun. Addicted to the game though.

Anyway, to my friends out there who had breakups be it current or in the past, I went through it before, though the r/s is just a mere 3 mths. Think about it, what if you 2 were still together, will you 2 still be happy. So what if 1 party decides to continue the r/s out of fear and guilt that the other will not be happy, ultimately the feelings has already disappear. And until you continue the r/s this way till the other party decides that the time for marriage has come, by then wouldn't the breakup be more saddening?

I know the party who had a change of feeling is guilty of it, but ending the misery now is definitely much better because ultimately, the breakup's gonna come sooner or later, just a matter of time. to those out there, stay strong yea.

Well, well... back from a gruesome outfield week. Busy, and more things to come.. But, I'm only left with 11 working days and i'm so out of here!

Anyway, i seriously have nth much to update cause its all army related and iam not really interested to blog about it neither do you guys want to read it.

Oh ya, saw an angel at some SMU event yesterday. She's sporty, loves basketball, friendly, talks about anything in the world etc. Just the girl i want.. haha! Though its just a 2 hr interaction but i'm mesmerized by her! Dang..

ciao.

"Every people always preach encouragements and life quotes to themselves, but how often are they applied? At the end of the day you see yourself knitting a whole lot of bullshit of wanting to be sucessful in life or being the bestest you ever can when your just lazing around trying to get by life"

A quote that I made last time which i find it too true.

Alright i've decided to blog more. Why? Simple. I want to improve on my english which i realized is deteriorating. Basically the gang minus lesnar and joc went to watch toy story 3 which was nice, as i'm blogging, iam cuddling my bear which i used to play with. LOL! Gotcha!

Anyway, walked from Cine to Goodwood park hotel and ordered durian desserts which i simply enjoyed eating! After that went home met up with my gang for basketball session.

As you can see i am SUPPOSED to book in but i did not. Feeling kindda lazy.

Anyway, brenda and guang liang you 2 better hang out with us more as GL has already passed out! Haha, i said this because sometimes i don't know how to start a conversation with the both of you! haha, my fault for not being creative la. And brenda, if your reading this!! Tell GL to stop disturbing my emo entry!! haha.

Lastly, a happy father's day to all! See ya around peeps...
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Trying to get through the wall of thoughts painted with your images.
I know this huddle is gonna be over soon...

Ah guang's parade was a sucess... Happy for him as he embark onwards to a new unit life.. Work hard man. Anyway had a small fever and flu and i still went la. Was kindda sian sian cause of the stupid tiredness.

Anyway today's father's day and yet my dad seems to be the one who does more than us, cooking breakfast and cleaning up the dishes for us. I was angry with him the previous night, imagine a day's of hard work then to return home with your dad yelling vulgarities at you just cause u do not know the bookout timing. I was pissed, very. He doesn't seem to understand me at all sometimes. But nevertheless pple often because of anger overlooked the good points and past contributions the person has made but definitely not me. I'm always appreciative of what he does , maybe not all. LOL.

Alright, iam going out soon, happy dad's day to my dearest dad. Stay forever young and thanks for what u've done for us! i wonder why i wrote the above line when he doesn't even know my blog link. LOL. Ciao.

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the emptiness just won't stop filling up,
I tried to cover the wound,
but it turns out that even of its healed there will still be scar,
to remind you of the pain.
It may sound exaggerating but
it ain't love if the feelings are not amplified.
For now, iam beggining to feel better.
Maybe.

Well life's been busy this week because of stocktake and outfield. Other than that, nth much has been happening. Oh ya, went to watch the A-team which was good but drastically in lack of transition scenes thus causing the movie's flow to go haywire.

Anyway, morning's house cleaning and after that, its back to watching all my mangas and animes. Took a record of 3 days to watch the whole of slam dunk (thats like 100 episodes each lasting for about 25mins!) which is quite a feat. =)

Got inspired by the movie and went for basketball, i found back the passion for the game already and i'm really excited for the upcoming selection for SMU basketball team so wish me luck alright.

Other than that, matriculation has been such a bitch. Have to remember important dates, do this and that etc etc. But iam all hyped about my new life just that i'm not really confident, cause i know my own limits. Like the saying goes, "If you can't fly high, you stay low and enjoy the view of the beautiful sky below". In other words, be contented.

Alright enough of philosophy shit. Anyway, i'm going for guang liang's passing out parade, happy for him cause he has been through alot. Hopefully he will do well in the unit he is going to. =)

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Thanks for listening to me and making time to come all the way from the east just to hear me out. Appreciated...

Finally i'm left with like only 2 mths to disruption. Though not ord, but iam more than happy to leave the bloody place... Ha! Anyway went for a run, determind to lose weight... getting fatter already, so i'd better put an end to it.

So far, i think i'm coping well except for stupid matriculation which is a pain in the ass. have to apply for grant, confirm user information, complete medical check up etc etc... And have to attend so many bloody camps and compulsory briefings!!
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Anyway, i dunno how the hell i did it but iam kindda over her already... Though there are still periodic stings whenever i thought of her but it wasn't as difficult. I guess i will only meet her once i no longer have the hidden agenda and just going out with her purely as friends. that will be hard though, cause not seeing her actually makes me feel better, ironically.
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Alright have to go off soon, tml's book-in day again... BORING!

Day 1 of a fresh outlook!

damn... saw sth that i should not have seen! blame it on the itchy hands.. Now iam feeling so guilty...!

Din know that it could affect me that much that i was actually tired but was consume by overwhleming jealousy or shall i say sadness...

It was then i realised no matter how much i do (which i dun think is alot in the first place), as long as the person she likes gives a simple gesture, it beats more than anything i do...

probably i went out with her so often that i forgot she doesn't belong to me and gradually showing her the side which i showed my guy friends, being vulgar and complacent... tried to look cool, act stupid, but in the end, when i went home i felt that i looked stupid... My true self isn't like this, why must i fake it? I want someone to be able to talk about basketball, someone who's sensitive, someone who will appreciate my silence...

On a side note, iam glad and i secretly wished her all the best.. Hoping she has the courage though to go for what she wants! it was this point that i gave up after possessing the thoughts of a possibility... haha... kindda felt stupid... cause me giving up din came from her rejections or words (she's not the type who is blunt enough to hurt nor avoid me) but came from some random note...

Gonna go for my run now if not its gonna affect me the whole day... gotta sweat it out and think about things. I need to start losing weight if i wanna go for basketball selection for SMU and look good to know more girls!! ha!

Tonight i dun feel fine...
At all...

Not that i dun like sharing my problems but i prefer to be alone
iam naturally "un-prone" to show my sadness...
i prefer typing it out...

seriously, FUCK this shit.. Literally...

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time I will fall
Into a place that fails us all inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels, they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly?
The devils, they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down?
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about
The things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear to see

Still I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels, they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly?
The devils, they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down?
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about
The things that could break us

If I were to give in, give it up
And then take a breath, make it deep
'Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one that could make us cold
That they could make us cold

I'm always gonna worry about
The things that could make us cold

One sided love is all about giving,
not about receiving...

Its not about being romantic and waiting,
its about the misery of wanting a hopeless outcome...

if you think one day ur gonna get him/her,
dream on...

it will only come true if the other party sees the love and is touched...
Ultimately its all about chemistry,
that is why one-sided love is perceived as a waste of time...

We dun need pple to tell us to move on,
we know when's right...
the only thing that is holding us is just finding the next "hope"...
afterall, humans are bloody leeches...

In the end its like a loop put on rewind mode, we will only move on once we found the next path...

its not a good sign if almost 70% of the brain cells is used to think of the same person again and again.. Its kindda irritating you know..

yeah right, as if u know its irritating...! ha!

reminiscing the old times we had...

things are going the wrong way...
i can't tell the direction nor dictate and decide the correct one..
it has always been a blur to me,
but all i know is as long as the initial objective doesn't change,
with determinaton and perseverance, you will get what you want one day...

I'm sorry for my dilema in deciding whether to meet you or not...
Because i know you will ask for the reason why we broke up, which ulimately makes me speechless...
All i can ensure is that it was my problem, not yours. you deserve someone better...
I'm sorry for being cruel but its for your own good...
Because i know the feeling of harbouring hopes to be with the someone you thought you still could...
I wish you all the best...