Tried to stay strong after getting back my result. But i broke down once again. Thinking back of the hard work i've put in and all. But still, everything just seem to be a facade. In the sense that i thought i've worked hard enough, but in the end, it is not the case.

Was relieved when I thought I failed the module but I din, but even after finding out from prof that I did not fail, I still felt equally upset. It is not passing or failing that is important but it is the fact that I am upset with myself for not putting in even more effort in to this mod. But I promised myself that I wun remain defeated forever. Somehow, I will stand up and battle this again.

Chalet was fun though, tried my best to bond everyone, hopefully we will be more united. Foresee lots of problems since the programs of our team isn't really concrete. Nonetheless, we will work it through together though.

OOAD results are out by today and iam feeling really jittery. There's this strong feeling that i may fail my mod and I'm really worried now. Don't feel too good man. Haiz. Please allow me to make it through, i really dun wanna fail any mod which jeopardizes my GPA any further.

Secrets, what are they? If you really treat the other party with respect and more ever, the matter is a thing of the past, you are obliged to reveal it. Because it affects the other party's life. And screw you if your the type of friend who want people to reveal things to you and you yourself selfishly hide away stuff from people. Cause it just shows how useless you are as a friend.

_______________________________________________________________

And honestly, i am fucking tired. Really... Come back soon man, i don't wanna sway back and forth and keep pondering over us. This is not what i want and this is not me man...

This summer don't seem to be very enjoyable though. So many things happened and to add on to that, my result for one of my mods is out and seriously i felt damn frustrated and sad at the same time. I spent so much effort in it and got this kind of grade. How much harder must I work? And i hate the fact that my parents expect only a pass for my mods, i am sure i'm more capable than that right? Am i so lousy in your eyes? hai.

Adding on to it, your in overseas and no single sms or call from you!? haha, guess i got to get used to that.

Damn, i'm seriously feeling damn down.

Damn, my army friends are seriously irritating the shit out of me. If you guys had take a little more effort to plan for outings then we could have kept up with the friendship.Stop saying that I forget you guys or whatever. And you guys should know the fact at that point of time, ive got exams coming up, thus not able to meet you guys. And when i am down, where the hell are you all also? Always relying on me to organize meet ups. Seriously ive had enough.

totally din feel like doing anything. I think it must have been the effects of the rest of the people celebrating their summer holidays and yet i still one last paper tml. Din do anything much today besides lazing around and studying, very minimal studying that is.

This is the first time i've ever felt so depressed even though your just leaving for 2 weeks. Appreciated the effort of you coming down to see me even if its just for just an hour. I am so sorry if i appeared down, din do well for my paper, thats why. Hope your enjoying yourself in China.

You will be leaving for China this Saturday and we barely even spend 1 day together. Can i not be worried about our status? Am I over thinking again? Am i a wimp for thinking about such stuff?

Whatever it is, I will never let you slip past me, ever...

________________________________________________________________________

Its a quarter after one, i'm all alone and I need you now...

Had a discussion with Marcus the other time. We 2 had a conclusion which is: Man in courtship are more sensitive towards every action that the woman does but its the other way round once the relationship really starts. How true huh... Man just gets hyper sensitive to whatever the girl does during courtship or initial stage of r/s. E.g, Why doe she not reply to my smses? Is she smsing someone else other than me? Why is it that i feel as if she's making use of me? These questions circle around daily, in our minds.

Often we will want to know what's the mentality of the girl whom the guy is trying to chase? What is she thinking about? Why is that her actions are so sweet at some point of time and yet directly the next day, why is she not exhibiting the same kind of traits as yesterday?

Hopefully the above few points will be answered by my female friends who may understand such situation..

Damn.. I am already in holiday mood and seriously I've reached my saturation point. So hard for me to concentrate on studying. Oh yeah, went to Esplanade library the other time, wasn't too bad though. Many pretty babes. Haha.

Went for a walk after that since I couldn't absorb anymore. Monday's the day where i say bye bye to my sem. Finally... Gosh, ive been waiting for my semester to end like since the start of it. (Doesn't it somewhat sound like a metaphor in rebecca black's friday song?)

Seriously ive got nth much to update since she and I are busy studying and I know you guys are camping around my blog and waiting for updates! haha. Oh, went to check the stats function on my blog and surprisingly, my blog used to have only 20 views or less. Quite pathetic, i know. But now, the figure has shot up to like 70 to 80 plus. This is scary.

Well, today's yet another day. Bad timing man. Examinations, you leaving for China, me leaving for Vietnam. Looks like its gonna be a rough beginning huh. Hopefully we can make it through this yea. =) Anyway thanks for all your well wishes though. I think you all are like happier than me.

Anyway, time to get back to revision. ciao...

10042011

10042011, the day where it all started. I am still in a state of shock though. It feels so surreal...

Anyway, haven been progressing well with my revision with countless reasons for procrastination, no wonder I am feeling the load now... Wish me luck!

Ecstatic, happy, excited, these words cannot describe what I am feeling now... U just made me the happiest guy on earth... I swear I nv felt such happiness before. =)

Shit.. Unknowing to myself, I am giving up on my studies already.. Come on thomas... Persevere man!

Suddenly have the urge to do this...

20 random facts about me:

1. I dun like it when people grab my arm. I get goosebumps
2. I dun like it when people keep bumping into me especially on a MRT. I get pissed off
3. I dislike people who dun reciprocate my kindness
4. I love basketball more than anything in this world.
5. I am a VERY lousy drinker
6. I am very careless to the max. I often mistook my matriculation card for my ez link card
7. I am easily pissed off, especially after army, do do not piss me off =)
8. I don't like listening to your happy stories, i prefer you pouring your soul out to me. In short, dun show off.
9. I love to gossip about other people but i love doing it openly. Its sick, i know. The thrill when you make known to that particular person that you dislike him/her
10. I am a good friend only to certain people.
11. People who actually know me well call me Zhuo Tong instead of thomas.
12. I love carrot cake, the blacker the better
13. I have been through 2 relationships before man. Stop saying I dun have gfs last time!
14. I dun like taking initiative to ask people out. Its tiresome to liaise timings.
15. My limit for you being late is only half an hr.
16. I like to act like I know something even though I dun cause i find it "ma lu" to say I dunno
17. I can very bad with numbers. I cannot even do like moderate complex algebra
18. My first public enemy is a poly friend of mine. For those who dunno he is g**** l****. haha, of course now we are good friends
19. I want people to be dependent on me.
20. Lastly, I love sunrise, it perks me up whenever i feel tired.

每天我都在打一场没有结果的思念... 我的难过于痛苦你又如何了解?

I feel tired. I need you. Just you, nothing else in this world can comfort me. Please let me have a glimpse of you, just a few seconds will do.

spent so much fucking effort for some lab test and din make the cut.. what the hell man.. where did i do wrong, anyone tell me? ARGHH! FUCK

I know she's troubled but yet couldn't feel what she's feeling. Tried talking to her but to no avail. If only she's willing to open up to me more. Just feeling useless that i cannot even comfort her, let alone make her happy.

Your on a race against yourself.
You cannot look down on yourself anymore, let alone other people...
People cannot judge you, only you can.
And if its an unpleasant verdict of yourself,
its time to reevaluate.
No matter what how hard it takes, I am gonna prove my doubters wrong.